Meta-exercise

I should be on the bike instead of writing this post. Should. Okay, so I choose not to be on the bike… and I choose to write this, instead.

I went on an internal training course a month or so ago that emphasised one very good point – that everything we do is a personal choice, and that everything we don’t do is a choice, too. The thinking is that you have to take responsibility for your actions, and ‘own’ them. This (in theory) breaks you out of a value-based cycle of “I should do this” and “I suck because I didn’t do that”. Which is how I feel right now.

Two reasons:

1. I haven’t been out on the bike since Tuesday.
2. I just looked at my log of cycling for September, and saw I’d ‘only’ done four hours total.

I can justify all this in my mind. But I choose, instead, to feel shit about it. This is my life, ladies and gents. A long slow process of internal criticism. It gets tiresome.

The one thing I will say – mostly to myself – is that I have to remember that the longer I leave it, the harder it is to get back on the bike. But when I get back on, you have always remembered immediately that it feels great. Always.

Go. Ride the bike.